Saturday, September 12, 2009

A Kettle of Hawks

Jakob was telling me about reality:

"It's like five bucks," he said. "But that's not what it's worth," he clarified for me. "That's what it is."

*****

Then there was the woman who used to teach English and she tried to tell me that there weren't enough vowels.

"Well," I entertained, "If you take just the five vowels and combine them three at a time, that gives you a possible sixty combinations that could enter usage as your alternate vowel sounds, couldn't it?"

She looked at me as if I were crazy and insisted that it still wouldn't be nearly enough, and besides that it was just a ridiculous idea. She thought more alphabetical vowel letters should be created. That's when we silently seemed to agree to disagree.

*****

You have heard that dismissive expression "But you could get a Grand Jury to indict a ham sandwich!"

But just you try getting them to indict a Reuben. Then it's all "Oh no, can't do that" and suchlike.

*****

We were walking along the quiet section of The Avenue of the Pines in Saratoga Springs; the part where the pavement turns east but the old tree-lined avenue continues straight into town. It's all pine needles, shade, and big old trees.

"They sing," the person said, meaning the trees. They guided me over to a few trees, selected an appropriate one, and made me lean up against it, listening with the length of my back.

"Well I'll be," I said, "You're right."

I still hang out with that person a lot.

*****



*****

Nursing is all about the relationship between the patient and the nurse. If, for one reason or another, that relationship cannot be construed as therapeutic, then "nursing" does not happen. Instead it's some other sort of fucking miserable bullshit.

3 comments:

wunelle said...

I'd recognize that notation anywhere! (Or I'd recognize that script, that fabulous, graceful line of a motion performed a million times, and done in an easy haste, the hand having to work quickly to keep up with the mind.)

Eli Blake said...

You should have suggested that the lady in question move to Hawaii.

Anyway, here is a puzzle that her vowel problem suggests:

Take a noun, which contains all five standard vowels in the English alphabet, a,e,i,o,u once each (not necessarily in order.)

This noun is a cure for a condition.

Once the noun is applied and the condition is cured, you could coin a new word by adding the prefix, un- to the condition. When you do, you will have another word that contains all five of the English vowels once each. (including the 'u' in the prefix.)

Answer tomorrow.

Eli Blake said...

Whoops.

Sorry for leaving you hanging.

Answer:

EDUCATION. it curse IGNORANCE, which if cured would produce a state of UNIGNORANCE.