Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"But At Spring Mending-Time We Find Them There."

We are like this: (holds two fingers crossed together.)

Teen's new expression: "Go die in a hole."

I swear to god, that crossing-guard came out of nowhere!

Ouch. You're on my hair.

Men are lemurs.

Taupe is so not tope.

If somebody starts to say something and they begin with "I remember when..." that means you do not have to continue listening. Nothing of importance ever happened in the past.

They should put it in the water. (Guess what: they already do.)

"Let the sky rain potatos! let it thunder to the tune of Greensleeves!" (Bardish skirt-lifting and hugs.)

"Well you see," explained the Chicago-school free-market economist, "There's birds, and then there's birds."

Quantum particles and fields are to your hand as your hand is to the expanding universe. Your hand is "in-between." The blackbird sitting on a wire is also "in-between." Try telling that to Wallace Stevens; you can't. He's no longer "in-between."

How to tell good salt from the bad or merely mediocre: Good salt is sticky.

Pepper-spray somebody. I don't care who. Just go out and do it.

It is rather easy; indeed, almost impossible not to, to imagine any number of people saying one of the above things.

There's a point in The Iliad, about the middle of book fourteen, in which Hector attacks the giant Ajax by throwing a spear at him. The spear hits Ajax square in the chest. But that's where the thick leather straps are crossed, the straps which hold Ajax's weapons, so the spear just bounces off. However Ajax gets seriously pissed by this so he picks up a rock, a really big one, and tosses it at Hector, hitting him in the throat and nearly killing him. Hector collapses and his weapons clatter about him. His fellow Trojans surround him to prevent the Achaeans from finishing him off, forming a phalanx with their shields while others pull their fallen leader out of the fray.

Does heaven (in the unlikelihood that there even is one) contain evidence?

No comments: