Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Dray of Squirrels

The dog chewed my eyeglasses. This is not the first time that such a thing has happened. I have tried to explain to the dog that eyeglasses have no nutritional value.

Similarly I have tried to explain Social Security insurance to libertarians, with as much success.

Mud and adulthood.

"I am not much for forgiveness," I said to my spouse.
They were little concerned, but asked "Is there anything I have done for which you have yet to forgive me?"
"Yes," I said. "Once fifteen years ago you stepped on my foot and you never apologized for it."
"Well, I'm sorry now," they said.
"You should be," I replied.

The phone rang and I actually picked up the receiver because I knew the person calling and it was for my spouse so I would not be obliged to talk for very long. At the end of our brief exchange I said "I'll see you later, Cort," and I realized then that yes, I probably would be seeing her later but she will be all fuzzy because I do not have my eyeglasses.

Last week we travelled to New York and I met with someone I used to love very deeply. It was nice. I will never forget it.

We also heard Garrick Ohlsson play the Rachmaninoff 3rd Piano Concerto with the Philadelphia Orchestra. He made it look easy, which of course it isn't. Rachmaninoff himself said he "wrote it for elephants." A week previously we saw "The Magic Flute" performed in Santa Fe. It's been a good month. Except for eyeglasses.

The patient had been with us for a very long time, many months. He had been plagued by chronic diarrhea and for a while we had been using rectal tubes. With much patience on our part, the nursing staff, and much work from him, yesterday we assisted him to sit on the commode to pass stool. He did not have any episodes of fecal incontinence in bed nor chair. For the entire day. "Mr. D., you're continent now!" I told him. He cried a little and said, "Yes, you helped me get some of my manhood back." That was really cool. I congratulated him for his hard work and I asked him to pat himself on the back for that.

5 comments:

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

I have many pairs of eyeglasses, yet they disappear rapidly to the same dimension one shoe goes to, and the matching sock disappers to. I am convinced that aliens don't abduct humans, just our glasses, shoes, and socks and the occassional car key. Are you sure the dog is not an alien??

shrimplate said...

I remain suspicious.

Marc said...

Winny:

Do not look for missing eyewear in places where you just know it wouldn't be:

Medicine Cabinet
Refrigerator - on the shelf at eye level
Bookshelf (on a book)

I'm sure this is just where mine have walked themselves to once or twice.

wunelle said...

Garrick Ohlsson is a titan. A titan with the delicacy for Chopin. This is an excellent combination! I saw him in Minneapolis some years ago. He was recording his cycle of Chopin at the time, and played an all-Chopin recital. When it came time for the encores, he said "I'd like to change the subject if I may." We laughed. I don't remember the encores. But it was all fabulous.

been there said...

You are a beautiful writer. I enjoy your blog.