Sunday, November 02, 2008


There is an idea floating around the intertubes that we should fly the flag to celebrate Obama's election, so yesterday I went to a local hardware store to buy one.

Just inside the store stood a young clerk, right out of the similarly-named 1994 movie, as I soon learned. He gave me a meek "hello" as I entered. I looked around for a couple minutes but I couldn't find the flags. As I walked back towards the registers he saw me again and he uttered an anemic slacker "can I help you?"

I said "I'd like to put up a flag."

Then, and this is an exact quote, he said "So why don't you?"

Jesus fuck. As if he were actually puzzled.

"I don't know," I replied, adding "Maybe I should just smack you instead?"

I can say that now. I'm old and punk happened.

After a little further prodding he showed me where the flags were. Thirteen bucks and it included a pole with a little eagle on the end of it. Made in China.


wunelle said...

A gold star for this post.

Becca said...

More appropriate response:

"Well, you see, if I'd have wanted to just say 'I want to put up a flag,' I could have stood in my living room and said that, and been done with it. But since I came here, to your store, and said it, there must be a reason I'm here instead of standing in my living room. If you were bright, you might have understood that and spared yourself this end-to-end articulation of why I'm standing here, in your store, telling you that I'd like to put up a flag. So, how about telling me where you keep the 'Made in China' U.S. flags so I can buy one and get the fuck out of your store."

Punk is not dead. It's just evolved. ;-)

Eli Blake said...

Another fine product of our 'no child left behind' fill-in-the-bubble educational system.

On my darker days I've wondered whether the real reason Republicans pushed NCLB WAS to prevent anyone from learning any ****dangerous**** critical thinking skills, with which they might one day question authority and the 'permanent Republican majority' that Rove and DeLay were then working so hard to ensure.

I don't think that now though. I think it was more that they wanted to show they were doing something about education (never mind that SAT scores began going up under Clinton so the 'Goals 2000' education program is what worked) and they were willing to sacrifice an entire generation of kids to show it.