The Deep

Shorter Dick Cheney:

"Sure my daughter is a dyke, but blow me. You're not a rich mothereffin' bastard like I am. So chew me."

Mary can have a lesbian-fathered test-tube baby and that is just no probelm with Daddie Dick, despite his political party's complete hostility towards non-traditional families. Dick goes on television and quite frankly acts like a total jerkwad in the face of completely understandable questions regarding his peculiar family.

Is this not just wee bit hypocritical?

Yes.

They want to outlaw gay marriage for everybody in the nation except their own kids, who are apparently outside the realm of questionability.

"We're out of time, but a couple of issues I want to raise with you. Your daughter Mary, she's pregnant. All of us are happy. She's going to have a baby. You're going to have another grandchild. Some of the -- some critics, though, are suggesting, for example, a statement from someone representing Focus on the Family:

"Mary Cheney's pregnancy raises the question of what's best for children. Just because it's possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father, doesn't mean it's best for the child."

Do you want to respond to that?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: No, I don't.

Q She's obviously a good daughter --

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I'm delighted -- I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf, and obviously think the world of both of my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question."

Gee Wolfie? Are *all* of us happy that yet another Republican lesbian fake blonde is about to toss off a pup? Me, not so much.

I'm not about to pop a cork on a bottle of Moet just for Mary. Got better things to do.

Was the question out of line? Were any dresses stained? Is this a personal issue?

Harsh?

Nothing compared to what her dad has planned for you and your family.

"Including other items, the request will total "a little over $100 billion," according to the Senate aide. That would come on top of $70 billion Congress already approved for the wars this year."

Reach deep into your pockets, dude.

Deeper.

Deeper.

Still deeper.

"Court and police records obtained by The Smoking Gun show that Cheney was convicted of drunk driving twice during an eight-month period in the early 1960s in his home state of Wyoming. The two convictions came when Cheney was 21 and 22 and resulted in fines and a brief suspension of his driver's license."

More here. He's a real piece of cheese, that Cheney dude. Total wack-job. Why is he here, even?